Monday, March 16, 2015

The girl who defied odds



It was during my schooldays when the incident which shook the entire state happened.  My district was the hotbed of violent politics back then.  Political revenge killings occured very frequently. Rival sides made it a point to outdo each other in ruthlessness, with each new act of violence.  Fists gave way to sticks,  sticks to knives, knives to guns and guns to bombs. Hartals and bandhs literally brought life in the city to a halt. 
Even in such a background, what happened to Ashitha was a shock to the enire state. Like many others,  like me, she was an innocent eight year old, making mountains out of little problems in life, finding joy in the tiniest of things, still wide eyed and filled with wonder in the beauties of the world. Like me she had to carry a heavy back to school everyday. Like me she had to do homework. Like me she had to worry about end of term exams. Like me she dreamed of things to do on growing up.  Spent the entire year waiting for the summer vacations. Still believed in Santa Claus.  She was having an unremarkable childhood and was totally content with it.  It was all alright, until that one fateful day, on which the politics of my city decided to invade her life in the most tragic manner and change it forever. 

She had a normal day in school. Her home was near, only a couple of kilometres away. She was used to walking home.  For most of the way, she had her classmates with her. They gossiped and made fun of their classmates and  giggled over teachers as usual.  For the last four hundred metres or so, she had to walk alone. She had a little money,  and she decided to treat herself with the money, and bought some orange candy that was kept in a glass jar in the local shop. She wished she had enough to buy an ice cream. She dreamed of how many ice creams she would buy everyday,  once she grew up and got a job and started earning like her father.  She remembered to keep some candy aside for her kid brother who was yet to start school.

She had just turned the penultimate corner to her house when a shiny metallic looking object caught her eye.  It was round but not fully so, but more rounded than an egg. It had a few screwthread like grooves running at the top.  A small ring seemed to hang from one of its ends.

She was curious. She wanted to pick it up, but it looked a bit dirty.  She also remembered her mother's strict instructions on not picking up anything from the street, and decided against picking it up. But she could not stifle her curiosity.  She gave it a small kick with her tiny little  feet. 

Boom. 

The next morning was when I first heard about her. Also when I first saw her cute little face.  As usual I had started the newspaper from the sports pages at the back, and had tiringly reached the front,  only because my father had the annoying habit of quizzing me about the headlines in the daily paper.  I was in for a shock that day. There she was, as old as me,  covered in bandages,  surrounded by wires and tubes,  lying on a hospital bed. My eyes quickly switched over to the headline above the photograph. 

"Political violence in the state claims a new
 victim : child loses her leg in bomb blast" 

The round object she decided to kick turned out to be a locally made bomb that was lying about.  Ashitha had lost a leg from the blast. 

For a few days,  she was the topic of all conversations in the state. She shook the consciousness of the place like noone else. People discussed endlessly about the nature of politics in the state, and the how far the violence had escalated.  Ashitha's loss was a sudden wake up call,  jolting them up from their deep apathy. For some time at least,  the place was quiet, as rival parties backed off from violence,  fearing public backlash.

Years passed by. I grew up through school. I was pushed into the entrance coaching ratrace. Sleepless nights,  countless blackening of bubbles, and endless running around writing entrance exams later, I got admission to a medical school,and a prestigious one at that. 

I was really excited to go to college on the first day as anyone else would be.  The allures of college life and the mysteries of medicine had thrown me into a heady mix.  But I had another surprise waiting for me.  

It was a huge lecture hall. One by one it was getting filled with people. A lot of expectant faces. A lot of murmuring and stifled voices. 

That was when a girl walked in. Everyone's attention turned towards her. She was walking with crutches. Someone in the front row kindly vacated a seat for her. The voices were hushed. 

I was not able to recollect the face at first, but it was vaguely familiar.  I was thinking hard to remember where I had seen that face,  when I heard someone just behind me whisper "That's Ashitha". 

That was Ashitha.  The girl who once made all the headlines. The girl who got her crutches from a little round thing she decided to kick. 

She had defied all odds,  swept aside a horribly tragic incident in her childhood to achieve something special. She had achieved the same feat as me, who had had a sheltered life all through,  with all previleges at my disposal. 

The initial astonishment soon gave way to awe and respect.  Seeing her there,  was inspiring beyond all measure.  It had taken away any reason I had to complain about my life.  It had made me appreciate every previlege I had,  a little bit more. 

Throughout my life in medical school,  when things were not looking up,  here was a story I could count on to lift my spirits. Every single time. 

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Lifted by the better half

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Marriage is supposed to be a merger of two halves.  Ideally,  these 2 halves are supposed to be in perfect harmony. But the world does not work in such simple ways.  Sometimes you have to carry more weight than you are due. Both literally and figuratively there are going to be occasions where you have to pull your partner through.

For me july 20th, 2013 was one such day. I had decided to take a risk. I had decided to quit my current career, and pursue a different calling. I had worked hard to achieve it.  And my first go at it had ended up as a huge failure. I was depressed beyond measure.

But thankfully,  as always,  I had my better half to rely on. She was there to carry my burden and pull me through. And she did this by being perfectly normal. No,  she did not cry with me, nor hand me tissues. No, she did not give me one of those meaningless pep talks, that only serves the purpose of inflating one's ego. She did not buy me an expensive gift. She did not cook me a special dinner or get me drunk.

She was just normal. At our home, it seemed just another day. We made breakfast together as usual.No coffee or tea,  as both of us prefer hot chocolate. She had another go at perfecting her pancakes, and ended up with slightly less rubbery ones than her previous attempts. We had a rerun of random episodes of Friends(the TV series) for the umpteenth time. We heated up something for lunch. This was followed by a long nap in the afternoon and another reheated course for dinner.

In between, we talked. Not about exams or life or career.  The most mundane, silly things.  The weather. How she was not afraid of spiders,  but 'despised' them(same goes with ghosts, rats and a host of other things). How clumsy I was with my eating,how much food I had spilt on to my t - shirt.  About the furniture we would buy once we had the money.  How the meat tasted better when fried with a pinch of cinnamon.

And somewhere in the languid flow of the insignificant, my failures swam with the flow, becoming one among them.

It was a turning point. I was beaten, but at the same time, was taking my baby steps towards refusing to be beaten by failure.  I was down, but was beginning to resist the urge to stay down. My hopes were dashed, but was beginning to water and nurture whatever was left of it.

Because,  as someone in a movie once said,  hope is a good thing, may be the mest of things.

12 months later, I found myself tasting the success that I craved. I was not jubilant or ecstatic,  just reminiscent, restrained, relieved, and thankful. My memories yanked me back to that day. To the serene brilliance of the space that was our home.  To the pillar of strength that my better half was.  To the unremarkable tastes of the food that day.  To how much of a blessing sleep was and how much of a loss it is at the same time.  To the infinite beauty in everything mundane.

But most of all,  I remember my burden,  and the magnitude of its weight.  I remember the helplessness that I felt, when for a fleeting moment, I thought I had to carry it alone. I remember how someone walked in with silken toes, and without a word, lend me her shoulders. I remember the moment,  the burden was not so heavy after all. And thse are the memories, that will keep me grounded as I hope to blaze a trail through my ambitions.

My wife.  My little sunshine.  As normal as its  warmth. As precious as its light.

https://housing.com/

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